When There Are No Words

4 tips on how to write a (really good) sympathy card after something (absolutely terrible) has happened

What to say:

1. Be sincere and share how you’re feeling without overshadowing their grief.

• Example of sharing your pain in an appropriate way: “Desi was such a positive light in my life. His humor brought me so much joy over the years. I will miss him terribly.”
• Example of overshadowing the bereaved’s pain: “This is the saddest thing that’s ever happened to me — I don’t know how I will get through this.”

2. Share a fond memory if you have one — especially if the card receiver has never heard it.

Anything that stands out to you will be special, even if it seems insignificant.

3. Share how you will continue to remember and honor the deceased (examples below)

• “I know Ralph loved key lime pie. Whenever I see it on the menu I’ll be sure to order it and think of him.”
• “My children are too young to remember your mom, but I will tell them about those adventurous…