Angrief
Language for the Bereaved
This is angrief — the unique version of anger that you will likely find at the depths of your grief.
I am really angry that my sister died, and I often imagine myself shouting a big F*CK YOU to the people who have (usually unknowingly) pissed me off.
It would actually be less of a shout and more of a roar, my voice descending to a pitch I could never achieve naturally. But I haven’t…
…at least not yet.
Angrief…isn’t that one of the 5 stages of grief? (no)
Angrief should not be included as one of the five stages of grief AKA the Kübler-Ross model (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance). While the five stages of grief are now widely (mis)understood to be the way that we respond to the death of a loved one, the model was actually crafted to describe the processing of patients with a terminal diagnosis.
There is nothing tidy about grief.
Many bereaved people do experience the emotions outlined by the stages in some form or another, but it is not a linear process. There is nothing tidy about grief.
There are also those who don’t feel angrief (my husband is one of them!) — even when their loss is out-of-order or…