Angrief
The language of the bereaved
I am really angry that my sister died, and sometimes I wish I could shout a big F*CK YOU to the people who piss me off. It would actually be less of a shout and more of a roar, my voice descending to a pitch I could never achieve naturally.
But I haven’t…
…at least not yet.
Angrief is not to be confused with one of the five stages of grief AKA the Kübler-Ross model (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance). While the five stages of grief are now widely (mis)understood to be the way that we move through grief, the model was actually crafted to describe the processing of patients with a terminal diagnosis, and there’s never been a study to prove that people move through the listed stages. I now use this model as a way to determine whether a book is worth my time. If the author addresses the stages (in anything beyond a reassurance that there are no stages), I know it’s not the right book for me. I will say that many who deal with grief encounter the stages in some form or another, but I do not like anything that tries to tidy grief up into a smooth and linear process.
I must admit that I have done every behavior detailed in the cartoon above. I am far from perfect. But I am living and learning and hope to do better as I move forward. And I am so sorry to the folks who wanted to yell a big F*CK YOU to me.
